DEAR ABBY: Long-time friendship broken by a caring act


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DEAR ABBY: I’m heartbroken over the lack of my finest good friend of greater than 30 years. “Barb” and I met in school. We reside and are elevating our households in the identical metropolis and are godmothers to one another’s youngsters. My youngsters and hers have grown up collectively and are finest pals.

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My friendship with Barb ended abruptly about six months in the past at my daughter’s marriage ceremony. Barb had quite a bit to drink on the reception. When she was able to go residence, my son and I walked out together with her and quietly instructed her we might give her a experience residence. Barb was adamant about driving herself residence, though we knew she was too drunk to get there safely. We ultimately needed to bodily take away her keys so she couldn’t drive herself. This was carried out away from the get together in order to not make a scene. Barb lastly agreed, however through the drive she introduced that our friendship was over. I assumed she would name me within the subsequent couple days, embarrassed about her behaviour, and the whole lot can be good once more.

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As a substitute, she desires nothing to do with me or my household! She has forbidden me or my youngsters to enter her home and received’t reply my telephone calls. I’ve by no means identified Barb to be spiteful, and I’m confused about her behaviour. I do know if the state of affairs occurred once more, I nonetheless wouldn’t let her drive drunk. I care an excessive amount of about her and her youngsters to let her take that threat. Do you assume there’s any hope for a renewed friendship? — INCONSOLABLE IN ILLINOIS

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DEAR INCONSOLABLE: No, I don’t. You have been anxious as a result of your good friend may have induced an accident, injured herself or another person or been arrested for DUI. Below the circumstances, you probably did the fitting factor, and Barb ought to be grateful as an alternative of punishing you on your good deed. She owes you an apology. In your personal sake, take a step again. The ball is in Barb’s courtroom, and you’ll’t make her cease dropping it.


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DEAR ABBY: I’m in a relationship with a good looking, good, humorous girl. She has made me need to grow to be a greater individual. She’s the love of my life, and I need to spend the remainder of my life together with her. However she has an issue: She steals from storage items, taking different folks’s private belongings, memorabilia and valuables that they labored and saved for over who is aware of what number of years.

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I can’t stand a thief. It makes me livid when she does this. I’ve threatened to name the police, inform her household or depart her to attempt to get her to cease. It’s induced so many issues between us. I’m on the finish of my rope. I don’t need to lose her, however I can’t watch it anymore. What ought to I do? — TURNED OFF IN TEXAS

DEAR TURNED OFF: Is that this “lovely, good, humorous” girl stealing for revenue or as a result of it’s an impulse she will be able to’t resist? If it’s the latter, she wants skilled assist. If it’s the previous, then notice that if the authorities get wind of it and you reside collectively, you’ll each be accused of possession of stolen property, which is a criminal offense. The very best factor you might do for each of you’ll be to insist she get skilled assist earlier than shifting to additional this relationship.

— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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