Courtesy of Marina Heintze
How do you keep in contact together with your ancestors?
Final month, we requested our viewers to inform us about their relationship with relations who’ve handed away. And we had been overwhelmed by their stunning responses.
A dad tells us a couple of blue die he retains as a result of he believes it was given to him as a present by his late son. A girl tells us concerning the altar she created to pay homage to her Icelandic heritage. And an artist explains about how she honors the kinfolk she misplaced within the Holocaust: by creating paintings about them.
This is a collection of their transferring tributes and tales. These responses have been edited for size and readability.
‘The final present I ever obtained from my son’
On the day of my son Eric’s funeral, who was 31 when he died, I used to be preparing and I heard one thing hit the ground. I appeared down and there was a blue die there that I had by no means seen earlier than. My home may be very clear and clutter-free, so it was as if it fell from one other dimension.
I by no means did work out the place it got here from. However so far as I am involved, it got here from him. So I hold this die in a black dish within the rest room the place I prepare for work every day. I see the blue die and it jogs my memory of him. And it is simply the final present I ever obtained from my son. —Jeff Stout
They name on their ancestors in huge life moments
I’m an solely little one of blended race — I’m Chinese language and white from Australia — and I have been residing within the U.S. with out my mother and father since I used to be 15. [I have this] consolation factor [that I do with my ancestors] to bolster me in [big life] moments.
When I’ve a lot emotion inside me, both good or dangerous, I envision it capturing out into the universe as a sign [to my ancestors]. Then as soon as I’ve signaled them, I [picture] all these faceless figures gathered round me.
It is form of like an vitality or a vibe that I’ve imagined for myself. So for instance, if I get an incredible job provide, as an alternative of simply texting my mother or dad, I am going to [share the news with my ancestors]. These persons are there and you’ll deliver them round everytime you want them. —Alyson Cox
She makes ‘private time’ to have a good time her grandma
On the day of my [grandmother’s] passing, I do not schedule plans with anybody. That is for me to have private time with my grandma.
I make Korean zucchini pancakes and potato chips that my grandma used to make for me each time I went over to her place. And I write a letter to her in my journal. I attempt to write these in Korean as a result of I need to be sure she understands what I am saying. [I try to imagine that] I am having a dialog along with her — and consider how she would possibly advise me on a few of my hardships with heat and love. —Alicia Lee
An altar that started off as a tribute to his late spouse
After shedding my spouse Teresa [in 2019], I constructed two console tables the place we hold photos of her and our household, flowers and spiritual symbols. They’re stunning reminders of her.
Then when my father handed away in [2021] I started to consider a creating a spot the place I can hold objects that remind us of those that have died lately and a few years in the past. I started our ancestral altar earlier this yr. The objects relate to my spouse, my father, my mother- and father-in-law and my grandparents. Every of the objects has many layers of that means and symbolism.
They’re all saved in a secretary, given to my nice grandparents as a marriage present in 1910. —Paul Manley
A connection to her Icelandic heritage
Courtesy of Lilja Klempan
My mom immigrated to the U.S. from Iceland in 1971. Though I used to be not born in Iceland and I didn’t develop up with the language, I try to remain related with my ancestry by instructing myself Icelandic, touring to Iceland as a lot as I can, staying in contact with my cousins, aunts and uncles [who live in Iceland] on social media and studying concerning the tradition and historical past of Iceland.
I hold just a little altar in my home and embellish it with reminders of my ancestry, akin to photographs of my grandparents, flowers and different issues. It additionally has a photograph of my maternal grandmother, Kristín Elín Théodórsdóttir, and behind her is a cat that she embroidered in 1929 and gave to me as a Christmas present after I was a toddler. —Lilja Klempan
‘It permits me to recollect who I’m’
Courtesy of Sunny BenBelkacem
I began an ancestor apply in 2020 to assist me cope with despair and anxiousness. I gentle incense and record all of the issues I’m grateful for on this life.
I say the names of my ancestors, going again to my nice grandparents. I additionally say the names of aunts, uncles, cousins and associates who’ve handed on. I then pray that they assist my mom, who languishes in a reminiscence care ward with superior Alzheimers. I then meditate to grasp what sort of ideas and emotions are operating by way of my thoughts.
This apply has helped me in a mess of how, largely in making me really feel purposeful, grateful and related to my individuals. It permits me to recollect who I’m and the place I got here from. —Sunny BenBelkacem
‘It makes me comfortable to show him that our ancestors reside on’
We created an ancestral altar for Día de los Muertos to honor my father, Eduardo Quiñones, who handed in 2021. Though I did not develop up making altars in my house in Tijuana, Mexico, it’s now an vital annual custom in my own residence in California. I struggled with whether or not to take the altar down this yr, however when my four-year-old son Beni requested me to stick with it, I fortunately obliged. It makes me comfortable to show him that our ancestors reside on. —Daniella Quinones
‘I hold their reminiscence alive by way of my paintings’
I generally query the method of remembrance when there aren’t any reminiscences. So lots of my ancestors are misplaced, forgotten or hidden. My nana escaped the Nazis. She needed to go away all the things behind in Vienna, Austria. Her mother and father and grandparents had been murdered within the Holocaust.
If it weren’t for them, I’d not be right here. I want to pay my respects to their resting locations however sadly, there aren’t any burial plots for them. So I hold their reminiscence alive by way of my paintings. By means of this course of I honor them. My ancestral paintings has turn into my model of their gravestones. —Marina Heintze
Thanks to all those that responded to our callout.
The digital story was edited by Beck Harlan. We would love to listen to from you. Go away us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or e-mail us at LifeKit@npr.org.
Hearken to Life Equipment on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or join our publication.