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DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized “Gigi” since second grade. We have now stayed in contact by means of the years, though extra sporadically within the final twenty years. Till 10 years in the past, she would spend every week with us in the summertime. She got here three completely different occasions, and we had enjoyable. We additionally visited her twice in California. I used to be married, however with out youngsters then. Shortly after our first youngster was born, she began relationship — after which residing with — her boyfriend. I’m glad that she’s proud of him.
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Quickly after they started relationship, Gigi requested about coming to go to, and I agreed, however stated they would wish to sleep in separate rooms at my home. She stated sure, and I don’t suppose she was stunned as a result of she has recognized me for thus lengthy. Nonetheless, the plans didn’t work out (his schedule, she stated) and so they didn’t come. That was 5 years in the past.
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We had been lately on the cellphone, and he or she requested about popping out. I instructed her I used to be glad to satisfy her boyfriend ultimately, and we set a date. Neither of us talked about the sleeping preparations, however I really feel perhaps I have to make clear once more. I don’t choose her, however I’ve decided that in my dwelling I ought to by no means must really feel uncomfortable. Their sharing the identical room would make me uncomfortable.
In the course of the dialog 5 years in the past, I instructed Gigi that if sleeping individually made them uncomfortable, we might see one another through the day and so they might organize to remain in a lodge or one other buddy’s dwelling. She hasn’t talked about her plans this time round, however proper now it appears like they intend to remain right here. What ought to I do? — HOUSE RULES IN UTAH
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DEAR RULES: As a result of Gigi and her boyfriend sharing a bed room in your home would nonetheless make you uncomfortable, name her and clarify that though they’re welcome, your emotions with reference to sleeping preparations haven’t modified. That is NOT a dialogue you need to have upon their arrival.
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DEAR ABBY: What’s one of the best ways to say no handshakes? In social settings, I usually discover myself able to dine, palms washed and sanitized, just for somebody to thrust their hand towards me anticipating a handshake. The very last thing I would like earlier than dealing with my meals is to shake anybody’s hand.
In a single occasion, a person who was internet hosting the gathering together with his spouse returned belatedly from a motorbike journey as we had been approaching the dinner desk and provided me his sweaty hand. Refusing elicited a unclean look from my associate and an expression of bewilderment on the face of the bicyclist. Please advise. — KEEPING CLEAN IN THE WEST
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DEAR KEEPING CLEAN: If that is of any consolation, you might be removed from the one one who dislikes shaking palms. Over time, I’ve acquired letters from many others who share your concern. Some are afraid of COVID; others merely dislike the bodily contact. (In some cultures, handshaking isn’t carried out.) Some people keep away from it by inserting their palms collectively, leaning ahead a bit, smiling and saying one thing like, “Nice to see you!” or, in your case, “So how was that bike journey?” When you don’t do that already, hold a small bottle of hand sanitizer in your particular person to make use of whenever you’re out of choices.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
